Already Gone
by Suai
Summary: Shuichi leaves Yuki after seeing him and Tohma together, and takes off to a place even he doesn't know! Yaoi, YukiXShuichi, One-sided TohmanXShuichi
1. Already Gone: Leaving

Well Here it is folks, hope its not too bad =p

The Song Name is: Already Gone by Crossfade

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or Crossfade songs

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**I will not leave a letter nothing at all  
I'm sure you won't notice that I'm even gone  
I wont break this silence we've shared for so long  
I will be strong  
** Two years...I've lived like this for _two_ years, and now I wonder....what was the point of it? You havn't changed since the first week since I've been here...sometimes I thought you had changed, with your gentle caresses, and loving eyes, but how was I supposed to know that even _they_ would deceive me?

I look across the living room, and see the door to your room closed, just like before. Did I do something wrong? Does it have anything to do with Kitazawa or Tohma, or is that you just have someone else to fuck? Do you realize how crushing it is to love you, but not be love back? Have you ever thought of me as something other than your _toy_? I sigh as the questions rush through my head over and over again...I cant deal with this anymore, I want to cry out, I want you to **_love_** me! Even though I desire those things _so_ much, I have grown wiser over the years, and I understand that it isn't going to happen.

So many thoughts are rushing through my head, each accompanying itself with a question. I thought of when we "made love," was it the same to you as it was for me? Did you care for me when I saw something close to gentleness in your eyes? I wonder all these things, but then go angry very soon, after I see the image of you and Tohma in my head, of you shoving yourself into him, and cry as I recall that it had happened only yesterday... I notice the tears starting to fall down my cheeks, and try to hurry out of "our" bedroom as I gather the last of my possessions.

I reach the door and think again, ha-ha, you probably think I would not be able to process complete thoughts even if I gave you all the decimal numbers of Pi. This is my last step into your house, I wish so much that you would just come out of your dreams, and ask for me to stay...even ordering me would be fine! I hear myself sobbing, and think that everything would be all right if you wanted me to stay, but understand that it would not work if it were for just for _your_ convenience. I wonder if you would even care that I left, wonder if...you even _noticed_ I left. I wipe away the last tear and step out the door, locking it from the outside, and slipping the key under the door. This is finally goodbye, right Yuki? I would want to apologize for everything I have done, but don't think I'd even be able to without crying.

**_Goodbye_**..._Yuki_.

**I will not leave a letter nothing at all  
I'm sure you won't notice that I'm even gone  
Why did I stay here stay for so long  
When we're so far gone  
I feel so stupid taking this fall  
I should have seen it known all along  
I won't break this silence we've shared for so long  
I will be strong  
**

Even after knowing that I did the right thing, I can't help but want to see you. In my heart, I know you're the only person I'll be able to truly love, but is it the same for you? Even though _I'm_ the one who left, I want to be right back in your arms...your rare, warm embraces. Is it too much to ask for? Is it wrong that I'm jealous of Tohma, that I'm infuriated because he is closer than you than I could ever be? Its already been a couple hours since I've left, and I bet that you've probably just noticed I'm gone. I'm guessing there aren't enough distractions or noises in the house now right? I think that, but have you even gone to check? I doubt it, hah, you're probably still working on your latest novel -Cold or something- and thanking Buddha or something that there isn't any noise coming your way...heartless bastard.

Now its just me and the bench...that's right, the one in the park where we first met...would you even remember? I think about you and Tohma again, and then start thinking some more...its ironic, I never thought I would ever think this much in my life. I smile sadly as I recall all the other memories I have of you cheating on me, you never told me, but there was always a hint...the hint of lipsticks on your lips, the perfume on your clothes, the nail marks on your back... Did you think I wouldn't notice? I admit I've done stupid things in my life, but that's pretty low. I cry and wonder, why didn't you ever say anything? Did you want me to stay with you even after you continued to scar me with your actions, just to see me suffer? Wow, I cant believe all the things I've been through for you, if it was someone else, do you think they would have stayed? I'm such an idiot, I never thought about my troubles, I just thought of the _happy_ times I've been through with you, but how long would that have lasted?

I walk as I think of the things that came out of it, its funny, although you've completely crushed my heart, there is _one_ good thing that has come out of this. I won't live in that silly world anymore, I know my limits now. I should have learned this before, stopped loving you so I would be able to evolve faster, but that wouldn't have happened...

I gaze at the place I stopped walking too and notice that I'm in front of the airport, I though ironically that its wonderful that my body moves faster than my brain. Hmm, I take out my phone and look at the time. 12:06 AM, the airport won't open until 6... I could sleep at a hotel, or I could sleep outside the building. I nod as I tell myself to sleep outside, I don't want to lose the freezing feeling of the air outside.

_Don't worry Yuki, you won't ever need to yell or waste time telling me to go away or to shut up, the Shuichi you knew, you changed him and made him leave...and he isn't going to be coming or changing back. _

-----------------------------------------

Ok well, there you have it. It would be nice of you to review of course, but I REALLY want criticism! Lol, This is only one part of the song, the other will be coming out soon, for those wanting to still read it.

OH ! and the next section will be in a setting of 2 or 3 yrs later!


	2. Authors Note: Your Opinions are Needed!

Okay Guys, Im sorry I haven't updated in so long!!! I'm moving at the moment, and have no internet access and my computer is in a box somewhere -; Well besides that, I got an new idea of Already Gone, and need your much wanted opinions!!!!

There is something I might want to do, and might change it, or make the story stay the same. What I was planning to do, is make this all in Shuichi's point of view, but I want to add Eiri's thoughts in here too =\.

1) I could make it stay the same as it was before, and just leave it in Shuichi's POV

2) I could add in Eiri's POV and a different Song to support his thoughts.

-I really want your guys opinion on this, pleeeease =^_^=! You can vote in the poll on my profile, or review and can give a song yourself and I could choose the best one =O.

-I will also try REAAALY hard to get my computer hooked up as fast as possible, and try to use the one in the library as well.

Thank you,

Suai-Mikoto!!!!


	3. Haru and the Coffee Shop!

Well readers! Thanks for waiting sooo long for my this chapter!

-Anyway, after looking at the polls and reviews, many want to include Yuki into it. What I plan to do is first I'm going to state the events that happened in where Shuichi took of too, and then include Yuki's POV.

-If you have complaints feel free to put them in reviews or email me. *shrugs*

-**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, or Enlgand…..the latter will happen eventually though *-***

**O and this chapter will be muuuuuch happier than the last v.v**

------------------------------------------

"_nigiyaka na hitogomi ni_…" I started to sing Glaring Dream as I looked around the seats and stared at the Japanese crowd that had assembled to watch the _new _Bad Luck, and thought about evil occurrences in my life. Hey! For those tuning into my thoughts, I'm Shuichi Shindou, singer of _Rising Generation_, and previous singer of Bad Luck! Well! Its been about three years since I left Japan and all those who I had deeply cherished, and started my life all over again, which actually wasn't that bad….

----------------------------------------------

Until I had gotten on the airport, even I didn't know where I was going, but looked up and saw that the flight was heading to England. Even though I decided to leave my past self behind, I still couldn't help but feel a bit panicky at my decision and thought _only_ a couple hundred times to jump out of the plane, or return back to Japan right after I landed. Could you seriously have blamed me? I mean, I was a 20 year old kid, and confused and in pain from a broken heart, who just decided to board a plane to another country just to get away from my bloody "home!"

Well, after I actually landed, I remembered the promise I made to myself and decided to stick with the decision to stay in England…only bad thing, was that I could barely speak English well, and this English wasn't even the New York kind! Since I decided to change, instead of freaking out, I quickly composed myself and started to walk out into the city. I tried to find some sort of restaurant or dojo, but after an hour or so of searching, I couldn't find anything and gave up. When I was learning English in high school, I had remembered some things that came up in the chapters here and there-very little actually- but paid attention to _food_ the most. Even though my pronunciation is horrible, people still seem to understand what I'm saying! After I gave up my search for my fellow Japanese , I sadly made my way to a small little coffee shop. It seemed a little weird to not be chased by scary fan girls and boys, but at the same time…nice. Once I entered the shop, I sat at one of the corner tables and waited for a waitress to come by and take my order.

"Hello, and welcome to Haru's Coffee Shop, what would you like to have?" Could this "Haru" person be Japanese!? I tried to lower my hopes incase he wasn't, and tried to ask the lady if he was Japanese. "H-hello, umm," It had taken longer than I thought to get the words flowing. " Haru….Japanesee?"

"Excuse me?"

"I-izu Haru, Japanesee?"

"Ah! Yes, I'm sorry, are you Japanese too?"

"…" I think she was trying to ask if I was Japanese." Umm…yes?"

"Ah! Okay!" She switched over to Japanese in a second, although it had a bit of an accent, "You know Haru? That's Great!" Before I could say I had no idea who he was, she rushed out and brought out a man who looked around Yuki's age….Yuki. I tried to hold my tears as the elder man came up to me.

"Um, hi, Stacey said you knew me?" The man, Haru, came around and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Ano, anta, Nihongo shabetimas ka(1)?" I asked

"Yea," Just like the young lady, Stacey I think, he changed to Japanese in a second, but with no accent. "Did you need something?"

"Um, actually, no," I stared into my cups, trying to hide the tears in my eyes, "The girl just went to get you after I asked if you were Japanese. But since you're here, do you…know if there is.. a hotel.. w-where the workers speak Japanese? …The price doesn't matter, I-I just need somewhere to stay."

"Ha, that's interesting, coming to England when you can't speak English, and also when you have no idea where anything is, heh, what is it, run away from home, brat?" As soon as I heard my used-to-be pet name I got angry, and started shaking. Screw crying right now.

"Don't call me that, and whatever I do is none of your concern!" After my little outburst I looked into his eyes, and suddenly…I didn't feel so angry anymore. He had blue eyes, but they weren't like the sky, they were…like the ocean at night. A beautiful navy…I -sadly- looked away from his eyes, and looked over at the rest of his face, and almost fainted! He had one of the most beautiful faces I had ever seen, and stood on the same level as Yuki's! He had midnight black hair, but had some blue streaks running across it, his nose was a perfect bridge, and his lips… I shook my head to stop my thoughts from going any further, and looked to see that he was shaking his head too. A coincidence? I think not my dear thought invaders!

"Dude, chill! It was just a joke anyway. So, don't mean to pry too much, but since you have no idea where you are, don't know anyone, and are in a country whose language you don't even speak, what exactly are you going to do? Are you even out of school?" Even though his questions annoyed me, it hadn't stopped me from thinking how sexy his voice was…

I glare daggers as I respond, "Yes, I'm out of school, I'm 20 for Buddha's sake! Though about the rest, I truthfully have no idea…."

"Great, so your practically a full grown adult, and have no idea what your doing?"

"As much as I would looove to deny it," I glared at him, "Your right…"

"Work?"

"Excuse me?"

"What are you going to do to make money? Hell, did you even work in Japan?"

"How rude! Of course I worked, haven't you ever heard about 'Bad Luck?'"

"Umm, no." The blunt way he said it made me furious.

"Do you even listen to J-pop?!"

"Again, no. Sorry but pop isn't really my style, I'm more of a hard rock kind of guy."

"Great… well since you don't know I'll tell you." I was starting to feel reeeally bitchy cause of this guy… " I'm Shuichi Shindou-"

"Wait, the same Shuichi Shindou that was dating the romance novelist, Eiri Yuki?"

"Wait, you don't listen to good music, but you read romance novels?"

" 'Course not, but I do read Japanese news, and you guys are usually the main talks these days. What happened your not with him?" I was going to say something until my voice just died out.

"…Yea, he isn't with me." I responded, _I don't think he is ever going to be with me again…_ I guess he could pick up on my sudden lack of energy and asked what I was going to do. "I don't know, I guess I might just try to find a Japanese place to work, but I might just start off with getting English lessons from somewhere…"

He looked at me with a frown, he probably thought that I wouldn't be able to do those things, but what he said next surprised me. "Hmm, okay how about a deal?"

"What?"

"On the top floor of this building -the one above us right now- is where I live. It has one bedroom, a work room, two beds, a kitchen, and bathroom. I'll let you stay there if you work here in my coffee shop. How does this sound?" He said it somewhat emotionlessly, as if he didn't really care which I was going to do, but if he didn't care he wouldn't have helped me right? Right.

I looked at him as if he was an angel, "Yes!!! Oh my god, Thank You Thank You Thank You!!!!" I glomped him to show my appreciation, and then a sudden thought came to mind. "Um, would you do me a favor though?"

"What is it?"

"Well first I was wondering if you were using your work room," I looked at him and he shook his head. "Great! I also wanted to know if you really minded pop singing…" Once again, a shake of the head. "Last thing….umm, do you know if I can make my Japanese money into English currency?" At the last he laughed…

"Haha, yes Shuichi, you can. But I'll help you since you'll have to speak English to get it!" He looked at me, and then laughed really hard. I just stared at him as if he were an alien, "Heh, sorry bout that, but I just realized that I haven't really introduced myself! Well, my name is Haruto Mizuyashi, I'm the owner of the coffee shop your standing in right now, I am…26 years old, I like to write, and I also play the guitar!"

"..GUITAR?"

"….um yea, anything wrong?"

"umm, have you written any songs yourself?"

"Yea tons, maybe I'll show them to you sometime… anyway, I'm still working, so just stay put, or you can go up to the rooms and explore." He handed me the keys, "Have fun, I'll be off for lunch in a little more than an hour." He ran off back into the kitchen as customers just came in. By the look of it, it seemed that the store had closed during our chat, and the customers (a lot!) that were outside, were finally let in, creating a stampede of scary looking, coffee needing people.

I looked for the stairs that led me to the second floor, and then looked down into the coffee shop. Maybe this wasn't going to be too bad after all…

---------------------------------

For Those of you who don't speak Japanese:

1) Do/can you speak Japanese?

Well now~ I sorta made this chapter as it came into my head, and what I plan to do with this is different from what I was going to do before. Many of my reviewers and poll voters vote that they wanted Yuki to be in the story as well, and I decided. I'm going to put Yuki in after I get the events of Haru and Shuichi down k? hehe what happens with those two is going to be quite obvious, but hey im going to have fun writing it!


	4. Where's Shuichi!

Authors Note: You guys I'm sooooooo sorry for the late release, I moved back into a different house, as I was living in a motel when I was writing the last chapter, and that took some time, plus I got back into school, and have sooo much hw =(

Though leaving that aside, I hope u guys can forgive me…. Btw, I don't think this chapter is that good, but I hope it fits, cause I was just DYING to put Yuki in this now -; heh some surprises too.

Disclaimer: NO I do not own Gravitation, if I did, then Tohma, Yuki, and Suguru would all be fighting over Shuichi and it would be much MUCH longer.

_**Yuki's POV**_

I came out of my writing stupor soon after I finished writing the last chapter that I needed to give to Mizuki. Damn bitch is so annoying, even more so than the brat. I went out of the study to get myself some beer and a cigarette, and expected to get tackled down by _the _ball of pink fuzz, also referred to as my lover, but was surprisingly left alone. _Maybe he went to Nakano's….no he would have told me… _I looked in our room, the bathroom, and even the hallway, but he wasn't there. Then again, he has been quite for the past few days, I just assumed he was at work the whole time, but three days?? Maybe he is back at home..

"Hey, B-" I stopped as I realized what could happen if he was just hiding… if I called out to him, then he would gush over to me and tell me of how worried I sounded and make me say the three words I just _can't_ say! …Ah, screw it, if he is here than I'll just say that I wanted him to get me some cigarettes. "Hey, brat! You in here?" I waited a couple seconds before understanding that he really wasn't here. I'll just have to call Nakano to make sure he isn't getting mobbed or something.

"Ah-" Right after I thought those words, the memories of the bruises Shuichi carried after getting raped by Aizawa came flooding in my mind…I wouldn't let that happen again…I promised myself, now to dial Nakano.

"Hello?"

"Nakano." I knew I sounded irritated, but I really don't like this kid, plus Shu's missing, so that didn't help my attitude any.

"Yuki-san?" His voice was accusing and surprised, I just knew he was accusing me of something happening to Shuichi, or why else would I call? "Is there anything wrong with Shu?" I just knew he would know...wait.. Shu? Sure they were close, but… whatever.

"So I'm guessing he isn't with you?" Damn, now I'll have to call Tohma.

"WHAT? He's _missing_? Yuki-s-" I really wasn't in the mood for him, so I hung up. Now for Tohma…great…

_**Ring Ring Ring**_

"Eiri-san," I could just see the creepy smile in place… "How are you today?"

"I need you to find him." Its obvious who I was talking about, but he just _had_ to ask!

"Now who would you be talking about, Eiri-san?"

"Its obviously, Shuichi. He has been gone for a couple days and hasn't come back. He barely had anything in here anyway, but now all of its gone. There isn't no note either."

"That's strange, he hasn't come into work today either, and its interrupting the works of others as well…" He was pretty pissed, which was weird. It sounded that he mostly mad at the fact that Shuichi wasn't found rather than him not coming in for work. "Have you two had a fight?"

"Why is it that all of you have to have that question?!" I've come to love Shuichi, why do I have to fight all the time, just because I was cruel to him in the past? I admit that I was a heartless bastard, but I changed didn't I? People are always telling me that I've gotten nicer, or I'm not as anti-social anymore, so why did they still assume that I was the one at fault!? "Listen, we didn't have a fight, but what I do know, is that a few days when I was writing I kicked the brat out because I wanted to hurry up and finish my work to surprise him with something. But that day, he was acting really weird, like the smiles and cheerfulness he wore was forced… He seemed sort of desperate for something, but I don't know what and he started to cry when I kicked him out. Its not like it was anything new,-" I heard Tohma sigh on the other side and wanted to kick him, I'm admitting my mistakes aren't I? "Well, this time he wasn't banging on the door or anything, and after an hour or so I heard the door open and close. I think that was the day he left, but he should have been back by now. I want to know where he is… and soon. Find him!" I hung up right after.

_**Tohma's POV (Really OOC)**_

Ah Eiri-san, only if you knew… now that he is gone, I hope you don't expect to see him very soon, because the minute he is found I shall claim him as my own! Sure, I had to scar him so he would leave you, but now that his rationality would be gone, and he would be easily deceived.

Yes, that's right! Shuichi Shindo has caused _the_ Tohma Seguchi to become infatuated with him. No, its not only lust! I have to admit, at first I wanted to get the little kitten away from dear Eiri, but then it turned into lust for the petite artist, and before I knew it…I started to like him! I felt very sorry for my wife, she knew that I had loved Eiri, and somehow found out about my love for Shindo as well… scary creatures, those women. I could feel myself smirk as I started to find our little singer… _I shall find you soon, my little singer…_

Oh right…I have to call Ryuichi to get a date with Tatsuha….

Well how was it guys? Lol reviewers will be loved!! =o and critics will be given cyber cookies XD

**Yuki: **I can't believe your writing this!? If I was a publicist, I would throw you out in the rain right away! And what the hell is wrong with you? Making Shu think another guy is cute? If you havn't noticed in the anime, he's sorta obsessed with someone….hmm now **who could that be?! **


End file.
